Blog3 couch collective

 

 

The Couch Collective

A DARK JOURNEY INTO HOME DECOR DEPENDANCY

There is a seedy underbelly belying the manicured lawns and cookie cutter facades of our suburban neighbourhoods. It’s a silent killer of long held relationships and bank accounts alike. Though not often mentioned its impact is far reaching and ever present. The form is of an unhealthy preoccupation with home design. Hi...I'm Helene and I have a couch addiction. This was not immediately apparent to me, it was a slow realization brought forth by the concern of friends.

Like most addictions it began innocently enough. The first couch. Fresh out of university, a couple of pays in the bank I decided it was now time for an adult worthy home. It was perfect, mocha brown, brushed cotton, deep and comfy cushions. I had many good years enjoying the security and warmth it provided...but then my feelings began to change. It's rolled arms and dust skirt no longer satisfied my evolving taste. Surely as a lover infected with herpes, the affair ended. Hours then days become stolen ceaselessly searching pinterest and houzz for design inspiration. Isolation takes hold as conversations are ignored, outings delayed, complete preoccupation leaves you slack jawed drooling on your tablet screen. So on to the next...clean lined, smart and modern, pleasing to the eye but hard on the ass. Now a veritable battle ensues. Style versus comfort, form versus fit. Couch after couch always searching your next fix. Seven sofa sets in twelve years, never satisfying the monstrous want. Until the ceiling is reached.

You’ve focused your obsession on the unattainable. Reason interfering exclaiming the price is to high! Both in the figurative and literal sense, think about the family the impracticality of its luxuriant down fill and cream coloured linen. What is a junkie to do? How can the need be tamed? Visits. Not entirely different from the anticipation of a congical enjoyed by inmates. A sure sign rock bottom has been reached. Any boring Sunday can become a catalyst to this new low. The craving gently rolls to a boiling point leaving you begging your partner to come, to allow you to see it just one more time! Maybe this time you can convince him, this time he’ll brake. The look of disappointment on the salesmans face only serves as reminder you've been here before but hope springs eternal that today he will receive his commission. You approach your quarry, buzzing with delight, longing to lounge and take in it's new fabric scent. Quickly the heady euphoria is brought to an end. The visit has only served to strengthen your husbands resolve, reminding him of the sacrifices needed to satisfy this crutch. Your told of trips unable to be taken, fine dining never to pass your lips, and in defeat a final goodbye is had.

This problem is catching. Innocently you sell your unwanted furniture to friends, it seems harmless, until they come back for more. Two separate friends, four sets of couches!! What have you done! They are being dragged into your madness! Spiralling out of control. But it doesn't end there. The sofa is just the gateway drug leading to an even more depraved addiction to accessories. With each new polyester purchase comes area rugs and throw pillows. They accumulate at astonishing speed, a constant shuffle from upstairs to down, bed to basement trying to make room for the new! Suddenly in a zombie like state you find yourself at homesense mercilessly stalking a young woman who dare pick up the cushions you came for. Itching and ticking you peek around shelves desperate for her to release your precious! Store staff and clients are baffled as you frantically try and recreate your living space with their available product, you must visualize how this bounty of pattern and texture will look, you cannot and will not return your kill. Armfuls of Aztec and ikat are now delivered to your nest. The need finally abated you rest,….until the next ikea catalog.

 

 

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